Category Archives: How-To

Deep Throat Education / Selina’s Slow Motion Blowjob Debut

Jemma gives a sensual deep throat blowjob

 

With all of the excitement from yesterday’s huge news of the soft launch of The Art of Cunnilingus, we didn’t get to show off yesterday’s second update of the Educational Series on The Art of Blowjob. The lovely Jemma is back again to show off her deep throating prowess. Now, this isn’t an epic deep throat video featuring all the sword swallowing and face fucking you can take… It’s about the introduction to deep throating and how to enjoy it as a beginner. It’s about accepting where you’re at and not beating yourself up about little mistakes and choking incidents. As much as learning is about techniques, it’s also about the ways in which we treat ourselves and each other during sex. This is what I personally hope for in terms of the way our Educational Series pan out for both sites.

Blowjob in an auto shop with Selina

And then today is Thursday, so it must be #SloMoBloJo day! We have a new face in this update: the gorgeous Selina. Not only does she have a new and VERY beautiful face, but she also has a killer body. As someone with a large bust, I do have an undeniable attraction to lovely curves and Selina certainly has them. She was in the auto shop putting things away for the winter and decided to rip off her clothes and go to town on her partner Parker right there! I can’t blame her… Parker’s that perfect mix of cute and handsome. Oh, and his cock is juuuust right. This is a great blowjob with sensual slow motion not only for the oral sex, but also for luxuriating over the pendulous swing of Selina’s great breasts and the subtle motions of her hips as she sucks and strokes him to an impressive cumshot, which she then licks up.

 

Clickhole Sex Tips

Clickhole sex advice for couples

Photo courtesy of Clickhole.com

Clickhole is probably my favourite new (well, new-ish) website. It’s by the makers of The Onion, but it’s taking on Buzzfeed/Upworthy-style posts and using their standard wit and snark to create satire for the internet age. This means they cover everything, and that includes sexuality. Now, I’m a sex nerd and I do love reading advice for potentially learning new things, but a lot of it is kind of rough with lists that seem to be all over the place. In 5 Tips to Fuck Good, Clickhole perfectly embodies these sloppily slapped together excuses for sex education.

It’s hard to decide which one of these is my favourite, but I think I’ll have to go with tip #4:

Sweat wine: What is the most sexual fuck-juice? That is correct—it is wine, the juice of love. Thus, if you want to fuck good, you must sweat wine out of your pores. You and your sexual lover can lick the wine off of you and it will be delicious and you will both become sexual and mad. You can sweat out good wine or garbage wine, who cares?

I have developed quite a pet peeve about suggesting alcohol for sex (it opens up possibilities for consent issues and it tends to make people sloppy, unfocused and potentially pukey) so this takes it beyond the pale. I just hope that if you choose to heed this advice, you’ll put down a tarpaulin first… Wine is a nightmare to get out of the sheets!

Hopefully this adds a little levity to your sexual experiences… I just KNOW you can all fuck good.

Wanna Make a Sex Tape?

 

I’ve become kind of obsessed with a new idea: helping people to make their own sex tapes. I love getting to shoot porn of myself with my partner for a variety of reasons: it’s creative, I get to see myself as I want, I get to have it for posterity… It’s exciting! Of course, it’s not reasonable to expect everyone to be able to be in porn for a whole host of scenarios, but they can make sex tapes. Honestly, it’s hard to imagine not being at least pretty curious about what I look like during the act… And even harder to imagine not wanting to watch it after with my partner.

Now, I’ve discussed the realities of making sex tapes on panels in the past, and it is definitely fraught. Emily Morse wrote a piece for Glamour magazine recently all about how you can do lots of fun stuff on video, but then you have to delete it immediately. That kind of bums me out, but I do see the point. There are other options, like having a mutual delete date upon breaking up or having it stored exclusively a hard drive which requires two separate passwords/keys/etc to gain access. I also suggest drawing up a quick contract indicating that any attempt to publicize the content would result in serious legal action.

But I digress! If you could learn how to make your own beautiful sex tape, would you? If there were workshops or more articles about ways to safely and consensually make something high-quality and erotic for your private enjoyment, is it something you would do? Or would you have a videographer come in to capture the magic, make it look good and then give you the sole copy? I’m always curious to see if this is something that actually appeals to the average person, or if it’s a desire mostly reserved for us wild and crazy porn types. Let me know!

Giving as Well as Receiving

Clara Montmartre in her first solo video on The Art of Blowjob

You best be giving back! There’s a phenomenal amount of eroticism in oral sex, as you obviously know from but that goes both ways. Of course, not everyone loves oral sex quite as much as we do around these parts, but if you want a blowjob, you should at least be WILLING and enthusiastically so!

Now even Vogue is talking about the issue of men not being giving about oral sex… So when you  show your wild extravagance for giving pleasure with your mouth, you’ll be very en Vogue. What is especially interesting about this is the potential cause that the author finds: porn. “But the fact is, almost all mainstream porn is made by men, for men, and it shows—the aim of the scenes is always to get the man off. As a result, in the real world, many girls and guys think that the aim of sex is to get the man off.”

Frankly, in some sense I don’t disagree, but I also want to figure out how to circumvent this issue, even when it comes to running a site where we are blowjobs ONLY. As weird as it sounds, we’re less inclined to cater specifically/exclusively to men, even as a site where men are the sole recipients of physical sexual pleasure. We are a niche, but even still we try to have a conversation about mutual pleasure and the pleasure of giving pleasure. This is especially confusing as a woman making porn and wanting everyone to enjoy it and benefit from its existence.

She states an interesting fact: “I love porn and watch it often—probably too often—but I also know that it’s artificial entertainment. Porn is great for many things, but learning how to genuinely please a woman is not one of them.”

As I focus more and more on making blowjob education an integral part of my work, I’m realizing how useful and important it can be to really break down different techniques for all sex acts, as it may just empower both givers and receivers to have a better experience. There’s so much anxiety about doing something right for some of us… And others could probably use a little more focus on doing so! So what do I do as I work for a blowjob site? Do I make how-to videos for other sex acts on my own time? Do I try to integrate it into the site somehow? Do I push for new sites with new niches focusing on other things?

What do you think could be done to bring a more balanced sense of pleasure in porn, both in general and speaking specifically about The Art of Blowjob?

How Do You Want to Learn About Blowjobs?

 

I’ll let you on a little secret: I’ve been working on an educational component to The Art of Blowjob for a while now. I love giving ‘em, but I also love giving back. It’s something we’ve been working on in many iterations over the past few years, but I’m hoping it’ll actually come to fruition soon. As I put these videos together, I realize that they need to strike a fine balance between informative and hot, so I’m coming to you… A little help?

There is some repetition in the video, focusing on very specific techniques, which I think will ultimately be pretty hot, but I’m also recording voiceovers. How sultry is too sultry? Do you think you’d be able to enjoy something sexually with a voice going over a detailed (but erotic) explanation in the background? How about text? Is that helpful or just distracting from the fun at hand? (Pun very much intended.)

Would you like to see the action in a few different angles to break up the repetition? Would you like to see combinations of specific techniques put together in different sequences to create some nicely flowing pornography every so often? I figure that’s a nice way to keep everyone interested and hopefully choreograph a blowjob routine of sorts for someone who might just be starting out.

Perhaps more importantly, should this be limited to JUST blowjob techniques, or should we feature hands, breasts, feet, toys and whatever else strikes our fancy? Would you also like to see the occasional video about communicating desires, talking dirty, trying new things and the like?

I know these are lots of questions, but here’s one more: what would you want to learn/help your partner learn in these videos? The sky is pretty much the limit, as long as we keep it to thematically appropriate lessons… I don’t think I have as much to say about astrophysics as you might think.

School of Porn

Sophie spanking Anja in porn

Photo of Sophie spanking Anja courtesy of TheSpitMagazine.com

According to MTL Blog, there’s going to be a School of porn! It’s like School of Rock, but with less rock and more porn, and also exclusively 18 years or older! So, it seems like Montreal actually has a “school” for men (really?) to learn how to become pornstars. This seems like kind of a scam to me, since some things (stamina, passion, non-creepiness) can’t be learned AND it’s really not hard to find a guy who wants to be in porn, but Pegas Productions decided to cash in on the hoards of men who want to have sex for a living. The kicker: admissions requires a dick pic. Just make sure you don’t get your school of porn application mixed up with your grad school application. I don’t think Dartmouth takes too kindly to photos of your wang.

I think it might ultimately make a lot more sense if they were to open this school up to everyone, as porn stars in general could stand to learn more about safer sex, respect on set, effectively telegraphing the sex they want to portray, emoting with honesty, history of the genre… It’s a lot more than just deep throating tips and acting lessons!

This makes me think that I might have missed my calling. All these years in the porn milieu and I’ve never tried to whip anybody into shape as a pornstar. I think I’d be a tough but fair headmistress… See above. Maybe I should set up Ms. Delancey’s School for Wayward Girls, Boys and Everyone Else to teach the ins and outs (ha!) of making beautiful porn. Would you apply?

Deep Throat, Deep Thoughts

 

Spawned from a discussion in the comment section of the blog post about our latest video, I’ve started thinking about deep throating and why it is that I (and other blowjob givers) actually enjoy it. It’s easy to see why the recipients like it: it’s warm, wet and it’s all the way down, plus the movement of the throat massages gently and makes everything feel amazing. As for why I enjoy it? Well, there are probably three distinct reasons:

1. It’s a challenge. I’m the type of woman who is always up for trying something and mastering it. There’s nothing more erotic than feeling like you are really, really good at a certain aspect of sex. Now, that’s not say that sex is all about competition or pushing yourself to your absolute limits, but there is something legitimately sexy about feeling the cock go past the hilt of your throat and continuing to glide your lips down until you’re right at the base. Sure, your eyes might water, your nose might start to want to run and you might be fighting off a little splutter, but you have successfully completely devoured it and brought intense pleasure in the process…

2. The bringing of intense pleasure is extremely hot, too! It’s something not everyone can do, and lots of blowjob recipients make peace with the fact that they might not ever get deep throated… That’s a very healthy attitude to have, but it’s always nice when you can shift someone’s expectation and give them something they’d really like to experience. Going nice and deep regularly in a blowjob is amazing because it brings forth a different type of moan. It’s deeper and almost like a laugh from being so pleased and almost shocked that it’s actually happening. Especially when it comes to guys with curves and or longer/thicker penises, being able to overcome their challenges and bringing your lips to their pelvises is very rewarding. Giving someone unexpected pleasure (whether initially or by doing a little misdirection/teasing before swooping in for something deep) is unbelievably exciting to do.

3. I actually get a physical thrill. I get very aroused while deep throating. I’m not quite saying it’s like the eponymous film, as I don’t have a second g-spot hiding in there, but I genuinely feel genital arousal when I go deep. It’s partly psychological, since I know I’m giving pleasure and that’s a turn on, and I know that I’m quite good at what I do, which is also a hot thought… But it’s also kind of physiological since I have a bit of an oral fixation. It’s all just really sensual, and I find myself as turned on, if not more, by deep throating than by most other types of foreplay focusing on myself. Of course, your mileage may vary, but that’s my experience!

What other questions do you have about deep throating? I’m happy to delve into just about anything!

The Grapefruit Technique

What the hell, right? The title alone sounds so, so weird. I’ve been hearing about this everywhere, and I finally had to do a little research. Turns out this is based on a sex educator’s now viral YouTube video about a technique that she somehow discovered featuring a blowjob and a grapefruit. Now, when I hear about that all I can think about is stinging juice and a whole bunch of pulp…

Apparently (and there are now several first hand/penis accounts) it actually does feel as amazing as it is said to! Now, I’m usually a total skeptic about anything that sounds like it’s straight out of a Cosmo Hot Tip, but apparently the texture is extremely vaginal, the coolness of the fruit is exciting and even the little juice droplets can add a nice little tickle in the right spot.

What you do is you take a grapefruit and essentially cut it in thirds and use the middle section by widening the centre/core a bit and then just sliding it down onto the penis kind of like a pineapple ring, followed swiftly by your mouth, so you get a nice little penisy/grapefruity aftertaste. I guess this is great if you like giving oral sex and also have scurvy.

I’m still slightly wary, so maybe I’ll have to try it by myself. If it works, I’m going down to Chinatown and getting a pomello to see if bigger is better! Would you ever have sex with a grapefruit, alone or with a partner? I guess this is like a very vitamin C-enriched threesome… In a way.

Bardoux and Blowjobs

I have a voice and sometimes I talk. In another life, I would have become a phone sex operator for my slightly upbeat but sultry tone and my love of role-play and writing erotica, but instead I wound up working behind the scenes in porn. That said, I still love flexing my cords and enjoying my vocal prowess every now and then, so I go on podcasts and radio shows from time to time. I had been talking with Rebecca Bardoux (amazing pornstar of AVN Hall of Fame notoriety) about appearing on her show for a while, and she realized that I’d be a good fit for her last show of the season… After all, what people want most for the holidays is a good blowjob, right? We were joined by Tony Batman, who is a legendary porn PR person (quite the hero for a gal like me!) and had a lovely long chat about, among other things, blowjobs. Take a listen!

It’s really nice to be able to be up front and discuss my love of giving blowjobs. As I’ve never been front and centre in any meaningful way, I’ve not had much opportunity to discuss blowjobs with regards to my own experience. Often people would semi-jokingly rib me about how I must have learned so much as the little helper in this company and I always had to hold in some extreme shade throwing variation of “girl, no.” I’ve hesitated about getting in front of the camera for the site for a variety of reasons, but ability isn’t among them. I’ve been learning, living and loving blowjobs since well before The Art of Blowjob was ever a thing, and I have quite the font of knowledge about them… Which I’m more than happy to share.

So I went through the standard explanations of how to give a blowjob with creativity, curiosity and communication, shared a couple of tricks, discussed techniques for swallowing, worked through some of the approaches to finding the pleasure in giving pleasure and also touched on other issues like friends with benefits and dating while in the adult industry. It was a lovely chat and I’m so glad that Rebecca and Tony wanted to include me. Hopefully you’ll learn a few things (or at least enjoy the refresher course) by listening to the interview. I’d love to know… If there were ever a podcast related to The Art of Blowjob, what sorts of topics/interviews/features would you want to hear?

Satisfaction All By Yourself

A sex toy from Tantus

For today’s update, I was kind of trying to think about what I might like to write. Being completely unrestrained with what I can post is exciting, but it’s also a pretty big responsibility to come up with something compelling and relatable. Luckily, sometimes people just spark my curiosity (or, rather, I inadvertently spark theirs) and an idea is born. Over the past two months (and for 3-4 more months) I’ve decided to not date or have sex. This is all for healthy, happy, therapy-sanctioned reasons so that I can be the best partner I can be, but it certainly isn’t easy… That said, self-pleasure really takes the edge off. I know a number of people from Twitter/Facebook/the blog who are in similar situations, so I thought it might be a good idea to talk about some of the things we can do to enjoy ourselves when we’re not having sex with someone else. Just because I’m currently focusing on myself doesn’t mean that sensuality is any less valuable for me.

1. Fantasizing: I have a rich fantasy life. Part of what makes me love writing erotica is that I have a decidedly vivid imagination, and that absolutely extends to my private time. I like to imagine the introduction, the flirtation, the moment where things go from playful to sexual, the foreplay, the moments where we progress from one act to another, the silly bits, the orgasmic faces, the heavy breathing, the tastes, the noises… I try to really immerse all my senses into the scenario. Because I have Feelings, I tend to mostly prefer conjuring up sexy people and situations without being actual people from my life, especially not people from my romantic past. Crying while masturbating is a hilarious concept, but is pretty awkward/demoralizing in reality, so stick to imagined fantasy objects. One thing that helps me with that is…

2. Finding erotic material I like: No judgment on the kind of porn you like. For me, it’s Tumblrs of cute hairy hipster dudes with good butts these days. For you, The Art of Blowjob is clearly a valuable resource, or you wouldn’t be here. Take the time to go through and find the right video/picture to focus on, and then don’t be afraid to drift away and take these visual representations back into your fantasy. If you’re more into words, the same thing is true. The written word can carry you through, but it can also be a jumping off point for your own thoughts. A healthy mix of imagination and focused content makes for an excellent one-two punch at enriching your masturbatory experience.

3. Teasing myself: Most sex doesn’t go straight for the genitalia, so there’s no reason that masturbation should be any different. Just because it’s harder to tickle yourself doesn’t mean that light fingertip dragging or grabbing is ineffective. You know the parts of your body that respond to stimulation. For me, my mouth plays a big role — figures that a girl with an oral fixation would work for a blowjob site. Sometimes just tracing my fingers along my lips while searching for the right porn is enough to work me up. I can touch my own neck and feel something spark… I can grab my own breasts to feel a more intense kind of sexuality… You can do the same thing. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t enjoy a quickie with yourself, but this varied, nuanced approach to masturbation gives a richness that we should enjoy, even by ourselves.

4. Using toys: Toys aren’t for everyone, but for me they’re definitely a part of feeling like I’m investing in my personal sexuality. I like having options for different moods. Even if you’re not a toy person, experimenting with different lubes is a nice way to pamper yourself… Besides, I honestly find the experience of just perusing sex toy sites to be very erotic, so it extends to my personal collection. Choosing a sex toy from my assortment is just part of the tease.

5. Doing other nice things for myself: Even after the orgasm, it’s nice to do something for yourself. It’s hard to cuddle yourself, but you can do other nice things. Take a bath, curl up on the couch, take a nap, make yourself a sandwich, watch something funny… While your brain chemistry is floating on pleasure chemicals, it’s nice to luxuriate and continue doing things for yourself. Sometimes, I like to take myself on full dates, from a good meal to a good orgasm to a relaxing night.

It’s tough being single sometimes, whether by choice or not. The best thing we can do is not to forget our sexual selves and to actively foster our sensuality. What are some of the things you do for yourself?