Tag Archives: chocolate

Chocolate Anus, Anyone?

Delicious chocolate anus

If someone offered you a delicious chocolate casting of their anus, would you eat it? That’s the question that some people will find themselves faced with this Valentine’s Day. Apparently chocolate anuses are a thing, and if you’re willing to pay Edible Anus enough for it, you can have a cast of your anus made to have your very own personalized confections. You know, the kind that are made to look like your b-hole.

Now, even though I am very pro-analingus, I might find this a little tough to, um, swallow. Frankly, I’d sooner go straight to the source when it comes to someone I love. That said, you can also get them cast in brass if you’d like a very expensive (nearly $2000) paperweight to remind you of your beloved’s behind all through the day. Think of it as an investment… An objet d’art, if you will.

That said, I used to be involved with V-Day and the Vagina Monologues back in the day, so I’m all too familiar with making and eating chocolate vulva/vagina pops. Anything that allows you to practice your cunnilingus techniques in style is good enough for me. And then there are chocolate penises filled with cream, for those of us who want to fellate something even more delicious and creamy than regular human penises already are.

What do you think of chocolate genitals? Are they going too far, or are they the perfect way to make Valentine’s Day hilarious and sexy and tasty all at once?

Tastes So Sweet

Unindecent chocolate cock

This choco-cock with fondant cum courtesy of http://www.unindecent.com

There’s one thing that drives me absolutely wild when someone’s giving me oral sex… I love being told how good I taste. It’s flattering, sure, but it’s incredibly erotic to think that you can be so intoxicating to someone. This is one of the things I really hold as a facet of my “do unto others as you would have others do unto you” mentality… Cum is something I really enjoy. But it’s not just about cum, it’s also about precum and even just the taste of his skin along different parts of his body.

I have had nothing but incredibly favourable responses by expressing my genuine enjoyment of the way my partner tastes, but genuine is the key word here. It’s a journey for many people to really enjoy all the sensory aspects of sex. Of course it feels good, but some people are so impacted by the cultural stigma around sex that it’s harder to embrace and appreciate its more visceral applications. It’s intimate, and the human body is not know for having the most traditionally delicious flavour profile, but there is so much to be gained by immersing ourselves in sex and getting accustomed to (and ultimately growing to love) the sights, tastes, smells, sounds… It makes for a well-rounded sensual experience, which is such an important part of sex.

Like wine, whiskey, coffee and all the more mature flavours that become palatable and enjoyable in adulthood, the flavours of oral sex can be acquired. If you’re not quite there yet, you can start to train yourself with chocolate! Friend of The Art of Blowjob AV Flox has written a lovely piece on Slantist about treats shaped like vulvas, penises and anuses. It is the festive season, so these might make an excellent stocking stuffer or dessert at your holiday party! As a rimming enthusiast (I guess I just outed myself here!) those cute little bite-sized options from Edible Anus (actually!) look like the perfect gift for some of my sexy friends.

So, how about you? Do you like the flavours associated with giving oral sex? What are some of your favourite (or least favourite) aspects? And, perhaps most importantly, would you go down on any of those chocolates?