Tag Archives: dick

Dick Pic Tips

Ariane is heating up the kitchen with a beautiful blowjob

When it comes to the porn I personally look at, a lot of it features beautifully shot dicks, but that’s on my terms. Now, dick pics are controversial, but there is one guiding rule: make sure your dick pic is wanted before you send it. Don’t send it out all willy nilly… Ha. But, assuming that your dick pic is either wanted or you’re just putting it up on a Tumblr or Flickr or something like that for your own enjoyment (regardless of whether or not other people look), you can do a lot to make your dick pic actually palatable. There are good pictures and bad pictures, and that includes pictures of dicks.

This delightful and relatively succinct explanation on Jezebel from the curator of Critique My Dick Pic gives you everything you need to know. Get personal, be creative, try different angles, remember the value of interesting lighting, include hands for an added flair… While shooting dick pics may not be for everyone, we encourage those of you who might want to give it a go to make it part of your creative repertoire… After all, whether it’s for a partner or for yourself, there is something very nice about feeling confident about your body and specifically your genitals. Just don’t get TOO confident and send it to anyone who hasn’t asked first. Especially not accidentally your whole contact list.

Have you ever taken a dick pic before? What was it like? Did you put this level of thought into it, or did you just kind of wing (wang) it? And hey, if you wind up taking one and sending it into Critique My Dick Pic, let us know! I, for one, am always curious.

Ode to the Popsicle

Sensual licking of a popsicle

I was reading over Jezebel’s comprehensive list of foods that look like dicks (ranked) and I think that they got it wrong. The best dick-shaped food is absolutely a popsicle, not a burrito. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a good burrito, but stick with me here…

We’re coming off a pretty hot summer and the weather is finally starting to skew cooler, but there were many many moments where a popsicle hit the spot perfectly, and immediately inspired the deep desire to give a blowjob as well. Other foods may be very phallic in shape, but the popsicle drips, begging to be licked up. It can have segmented flavours, requiring you to suck the tip or swirl your tongue around the base. It may even be filled with a creamy centre that could take you by surprise.

I know I’ve had many moments where I’ve locked eyes with someone while enjoying a popsicle in public. No, it never resulted in a clandestine moment, but a little lingering eye contact and a moment of tongue-on-treat-related innuendo likely caused a little stirring. Sometimes it’s just another way to distract from the heat. There are few things hotter than knowing that you probably set off a masturbation session when they got home.

It’s coy and innocent, yet decidedly teasing. But what do you think? Do you get turned on by phallic foods in action? Does a little tongue work to lap up a few errant drops get your attention? And, if not the popsicle, what’s the most erotic food to watch someone enjoy?

Song Covers About Dick

my dick band logo

I really can’t explain this any better than this title suggests. I figure that, since The Art of Blowjob features many a dick, this is relevant. Also I couldn’t not post about this.

I recently went to a BBQ/bonfire at a good friend’s house and we were all sitting around being our usual selves. One of my friend’s boyfriends is an awesome and increasingly famous musician with excellent taste, so I treat his musical recommendations like gospel. All of the sudden he looks over and says “Hey, have you heard of My Dick?” Thinking he was talking about sex with my friend, I said I had only heard good things, and he quickly clarified that he was talking about a band. So, no. I hadn’t.

I have now! My Dick is a cover band with songs by Hall and Oates, Tracy Chapman, John Lennon and so many more… The only thing is that they change arbitrary nouns to “my dick” for comedic effect. I get that this sounds like something that a 12 year old boy would do, but man… Somehow it works and it had me in tears of laughter. I think it’s because he’s actually a really great instrumentalist and his voice is alternately great and very fitting or really, really not. The dick insertions (ha!) are alternately very witty and completely hilariously pointless. Sometimes he’ll just take out an entire line of song and just say “my dick” as many times as the syllables require.

My partner has already been driven nearly to distraction by how often I will sing dick-infused song lyrics to/at him, but he’s going to have to deal with it. A number of friends have latched on, and I think we’re going to be booking a karaoke room pretty soon to have our very own dick-related songs immortalized. It’s singing, off the cuff word play and dicks… Those are possibly my favourite things.

To close, here are a few of my favourites:

Fields of Dick (Field of Gold by Sting)

Dancing in My Dick (Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springstein)

Oronoco Dick (Oronoco Flow by Enya)

I hope you’re all as amused as I am, and don’t forget to let me know which songs you’d modify. My ideas include: My Dick Started the Fire (Billy Joel), Total Dicklipse of the Heart (Bonnie Tyler), Piece of My Dick (Janice Joplin) and Come Sail My Dick (Styx or, I guess, Dyx)