Tag Archives: Jezebel

Dick Pic Tips

Ariane is heating up the kitchen with a beautiful blowjob

When it comes to the porn I personally look at, a lot of it features beautifully shot dicks, but that’s on my terms. Now, dick pics are controversial, but there is one guiding rule: make sure your dick pic is wanted before you send it. Don’t send it out all willy nilly… Ha. But, assuming that your dick pic is either wanted or you’re just putting it up on a Tumblr or Flickr or something like that for your own enjoyment (regardless of whether or not other people look), you can do a lot to make your dick pic actually palatable. There are good pictures and bad pictures, and that includes pictures of dicks.

This delightful and relatively succinct explanation on Jezebel from the curator of Critique My Dick Pic gives you everything you need to know. Get personal, be creative, try different angles, remember the value of interesting lighting, include hands for an added flair… While shooting dick pics may not be for everyone, we encourage those of you who might want to give it a go to make it part of your creative repertoire… After all, whether it’s for a partner or for yourself, there is something very nice about feeling confident about your body and specifically your genitals. Just don’t get TOO confident and send it to anyone who hasn’t asked first. Especially not accidentally your whole contact list.

Have you ever taken a dick pic before? What was it like? Did you put this level of thought into it, or did you just kind of wing (wang) it? And hey, if you wind up taking one and sending it into Critique My Dick Pic, let us know! I, for one, am always curious.

Ah, The Arts

Ah, the arts. We at The Art of Blowjob like to appreciate arts beyond oral sex, so this felt like a natural extension. Some of you may not know, but my background is actually in classical music. Also: I have breasts. Shocking, right? Up until now, I hadn’t realized that there was an appropriate method to combine the two (asides from a lot of cleavage in my recital dresses) but model/blogger/all around funny person Sara X has found a way! She makes Mozart SO much fun with a take on Eine kleine Nachtmusik featuring her immense breasts moving to the beat.

Now, when I initially read the accompanying article to this piece, I thought she was making different tones by pushing (smacking?) her breasts together, which would have been extraordinary. There’s no sound, but she does have some seriously toned pecs to get her fairly substantial bust moving like that. It’s like a very special kind of fantasy:

I’m sure you’re all doing what I did as soon as I watched this video… Trying it yourself. I’m pleased to say that I can make my 36Ks dance with the best of em, but the real trick would be singing an aria while making my breasts move at the same time. If I ever accomplish this task, I’ll take it to Youtube… I’m feeling like Der Hölle Rache would have just the right blend of dexterity and fan appeal.

What do you think of this style of artistry? Would you ever go see a concert featuring erotic takes on classical music? Cause there is more to come if you would!

Cheese Facials

#cheeseblasted cheese facial

Wittiest response so far: “I only do that on second dates!” Photo courtesy of @dulcecalor

I certainly never thought I’d be writing a blog post entitled “Cheese Facials.” I also never thought I’d be here writing about Old El Paso in a sex blog, but here we are.  Turns out that some social media geniuses over at the Tex-Mex conglomerate have been trying to make the hashtag #CheeseBlasted happen. And it is happening… In a way.

Now, I’ll admit that I loves me some humour and certainly try to make our Twitter comical at times (I referred to myself as a dick whisperer today) but this is a bridge too far. What they’ve been doing is taking people’s recent selfies and blasting them with some sort of fake cheese product… right in the face! Reminds me a lot of The Art of Blowjob for some reason.

It’s worth mentioning (is it?) that the cheese isn’t gooey or white. It’s more like some kind of orange “nacho cheez” dust cloud, but the net impact is the same. Listen, I’m not trying to yuck anyone’s yum (figuratively or literally) but I think you should always ask for consent before you spray anything in someone’s face… Cheese or otherwise. It’s just polite. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying being cheese blasted (or is it #CheeseBlasted?) because we all choose our choice. I’m just saying that this is an important discussion to have and not something we should assume people want.

Thinly-veiled-sexual-education aside, I asked them to get me all #CheeseBlasted… Now let’s see if they do! I’ll report back if they take the bait!