Tag Archives: penis

Dick Pic Tips

Ariane is heating up the kitchen with a beautiful blowjob

When it comes to the porn I personally look at, a lot of it features beautifully shot dicks, but that’s on my terms. Now, dick pics are controversial, but there is one guiding rule: make sure your dick pic is wanted before you send it. Don’t send it out all willy nilly… Ha. But, assuming that your dick pic is either wanted or you’re just putting it up on a Tumblr or Flickr or something like that for your own enjoyment (regardless of whether or not other people look), you can do a lot to make your dick pic actually palatable. There are good pictures and bad pictures, and that includes pictures of dicks.

This delightful and relatively succinct explanation on Jezebel from the curator of Critique My Dick Pic gives you everything you need to know. Get personal, be creative, try different angles, remember the value of interesting lighting, include hands for an added flair… While shooting dick pics may not be for everyone, we encourage those of you who might want to give it a go to make it part of your creative repertoire… After all, whether it’s for a partner or for yourself, there is something very nice about feeling confident about your body and specifically your genitals. Just don’t get TOO confident and send it to anyone who hasn’t asked first. Especially not accidentally your whole contact list.

Have you ever taken a dick pic before? What was it like? Did you put this level of thought into it, or did you just kind of wing (wang) it? And hey, if you wind up taking one and sending it into Critique My Dick Pic, let us know! I, for one, am always curious.

Chocolate Anus, Anyone?

Delicious chocolate anus

If someone offered you a delicious chocolate casting of their anus, would you eat it? That’s the question that some people will find themselves faced with this Valentine’s Day. Apparently chocolate anuses are a thing, and if you’re willing to pay Edible Anus enough for it, you can have a cast of your anus made to have your very own personalized confections. You know, the kind that are made to look like your b-hole.

Now, even though I am very pro-analingus, I might find this a little tough to, um, swallow. Frankly, I’d sooner go straight to the source when it comes to someone I love. That said, you can also get them cast in brass if you’d like a very expensive (nearly $2000) paperweight to remind you of your beloved’s behind all through the day. Think of it as an investment… An objet d’art, if you will.

That said, I used to be involved with V-Day and the Vagina Monologues back in the day, so I’m all too familiar with making and eating chocolate vulva/vagina pops. Anything that allows you to practice your cunnilingus techniques in style is good enough for me. And then there are chocolate penises filled with cream, for those of us who want to fellate something even more delicious and creamy than regular human penises already are.

What do you think of chocolate genitals? Are they going too far, or are they the perfect way to make Valentine’s Day hilarious and sexy and tasty all at once?

Male Birth Control… Coming Soon!

Vasalgel male birth control

Photo of Vasalgel courtesy of cdn.pratique.fr

We here at The Art of Blowjob love cum. We also love safer sex, getting tested, knowing your status and all of that incredibly important stuff… But we really love cum. In many cases, people opt to go without barriers after a period of getting to know/trust each other and establishing relationship parameters, whether that’s for procreation or recreation. Nothing’s foolproof, of course, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s been heavily eroticized to go without condoms and experience raw sex, cum and all. For those of us who are totally NOT trying to have babies right now, the onus has been on women to pay for/effectively use contraceptives for quite a long time…

BEHOLD THE FUTURE! There’s a brand new kind of birth control that’ll be available for men in just a few short years! It’s called Vasalgel. There’s no hormonal component, it’s a one time thing and it can be reversed simply and effectively. It’s kind of like a vasectomy without any of the pain or invasiveness. Okay, so it is a shot of polymer right into your vas deferens, which might not sound like the most fun, but it’s over in a heartbeat and there are not supposed to be any weird side effects like you tend to see when you tamper with testosterone.

Now, the kinks haven’t all been totally worked out yet, hence the 2017 release date, but they’re quite optimistic that this could completely change the face of sex. Since hormonal birth control isn’t an option for all women, it can fail if not used 100% correctly and it can cause some pretty unpleasant problems for those who do choose to use it, this opens up potentially a much better, more foolproof method of having unprotected sex.

What do you think? Is this the wave of the future or does the thought of a shot to the vas deferens sound like a deal breaker, even for the possibility of worry-free (provided everyone is tested and using precautions in their lives) sex? I’m curious. It sounds great to me, but then again, I’m not the one with the penis.

Cock Worship – Voyeurism

 

In a way, cock worship sounds relatively easy to explain: it’s the worship of cocks. Not too complicated, right? Well, there seems to always be some sort of question, specifically when it comes to women who love men’s bodies… Why do we like them? What does it say about us? There are so many people who think that cocks aren’t particularly good-looking, or that men’s bodies in general aren’t worthy of adoration the same way women’s bodies are. I’m here to say that I disagree whole-heartedly.

Now, I like all bodies and genders and generally enjoy a sensual life full of sex and connection, so I certainly have a fair amount of experience savouring the beauty of the human form, but I don’t see cocks as being ugly. In fact, I think they’re beautiful. They have the capacity to be strong, hard and very virile, or they can be almost kind of coy. My favourite facet is when it’s only kind of hard, slowly working its way through arousal and gently hardening as I observe.

For me, it’s something almost breathtaking to watch… And I like to watch closely. Part of why The Art of Blowjob felt like such a natural fit for me is because I like to be up close and personal with the penis. I’m not shy… I’ve even been called a pervert (in a playful way) because I’m just so into every minute detail of male anatomy and arousal. I want to see it all. It’s not quite objectification, but it is about appreciating both the whole person and their particular parts. For me, it’s the same reason I find eyes beautiful, and hands and legs and smiles… There is so much individuality in each feature.

My breath quickens as the arousal mounts and I know I’m about to touch it, but I wait, teasing both of us, at least some of the time. It’s nice to take my time. Tomorrow I’ll continue, focusing specifically on what I like in terms of actually interacting with the cock in question. In my mind, voyeurism is a form of worship when done with love… What do you think?

For Your Next Penis-Themed Dinner Party

Hack to make a penis out of a napkin

Photo from http://www.collegehumor.com/post/6979719/how-to-fold-a-napkin-into-an-elegant-penis-in-8-steps

I’m into making a beautiful home and entertaining. I looooove Pinterest! When I’m not making/promoting porn, I’m off crafting or cooking. That said, sometimes it’s nice to have a little overlap when it comes to work and play.

Next time you’re planning a brunch or a lovely sit-down dinner, try this crafty hack to turn a regular napkin into a penis! You will be the toast of the whole event and you might even get the party started. There’s nothing like a blowjob after some quiche provencale or a mimosa or two, isn’t that right? At the very least I know what I’m doing next time I host a bachelorette party… Or orgy.

Hopefully you find this how-to helpful, or at least laugh at the absurdity on a Tuesday afternoon!

Song Covers About Dick

my dick band logo

I really can’t explain this any better than this title suggests. I figure that, since The Art of Blowjob features many a dick, this is relevant. Also I couldn’t not post about this.

I recently went to a BBQ/bonfire at a good friend’s house and we were all sitting around being our usual selves. One of my friend’s boyfriends is an awesome and increasingly famous musician with excellent taste, so I treat his musical recommendations like gospel. All of the sudden he looks over and says “Hey, have you heard of My Dick?” Thinking he was talking about sex with my friend, I said I had only heard good things, and he quickly clarified that he was talking about a band. So, no. I hadn’t.

I have now! My Dick is a cover band with songs by Hall and Oates, Tracy Chapman, John Lennon and so many more… The only thing is that they change arbitrary nouns to “my dick” for comedic effect. I get that this sounds like something that a 12 year old boy would do, but man… Somehow it works and it had me in tears of laughter. I think it’s because he’s actually a really great instrumentalist and his voice is alternately great and very fitting or really, really not. The dick insertions (ha!) are alternately very witty and completely hilariously pointless. Sometimes he’ll just take out an entire line of song and just say “my dick” as many times as the syllables require.

My partner has already been driven nearly to distraction by how often I will sing dick-infused song lyrics to/at him, but he’s going to have to deal with it. A number of friends have latched on, and I think we’re going to be booking a karaoke room pretty soon to have our very own dick-related songs immortalized. It’s singing, off the cuff word play and dicks… Those are possibly my favourite things.

To close, here are a few of my favourites:

Fields of Dick (Field of Gold by Sting)

Dancing in My Dick (Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springstein)

Oronoco Dick (Oronoco Flow by Enya)

I hope you’re all as amused as I am, and don’t forget to let me know which songs you’d modify. My ideas include: My Dick Started the Fire (Billy Joel), Total Dicklipse of the Heart (Bonnie Tyler), Piece of My Dick (Janice Joplin) and Come Sail My Dick (Styx or, I guess, Dyx)

The Man With Two Penises

This isn’t about freakshow gawking at all, just to be clear… This is about celebrating how the human body is amazing, penises are amazing and two penises are just super amazing! There is a man with diphallia (two penises!) who did a Reddit AMA recently and was candid, good-natured, sex/body-positive and just generally amazing. He even included pictures of his penises, both flaccid and erect. Apparently they both urinate, they both have orgasms, they both ejaculate, but one is both bigger and more sensitive than the other, even though they’re both average to large in size. So, basically he has two fully-functional penises.

As a penis enthusiast, I think this is the coolest thing ever and would love to have sex with someone with multiple penises… And apparently the only side-effect is that he needs to ejaculate a lot since it impacts his prostate. I’m not going to lie… I read that and was like: “Don’ worry. I’ll help!” It’d be hard to not be tokenizing (after all, he seems to be the only person in the world currently living with this situation) but he seems to be open (he’s poly and bisexual, and lord knows I love a bi boy) and charming, so hey, I’m sure he’d make a very fun sex partner even with just one penis! A girl can dream of giving a double blowjob to one man…

What I’m saying here is that I can’t really imagine people seeing this or any other genital diversity as bad or wrong. People are so inclined to stigmatize intersex people, but I think that the naturally occurring variations in genitalia is valuable and interesting. I applaud this man’s parents for allowing him to keep both penises, and it seems he appreciates it as well… I’d love to see that become a more natural reaction for all kinds of genital diversity. I think that’d make for a more accepting world, even if it’d take a while for tides to shift.

What do you think? Would you want two penises if you could have them? And, because i’m perversely curious… What would you do with them?

Tastes So Sweet

Unindecent chocolate cock

This choco-cock with fondant cum courtesy of http://www.unindecent.com

There’s one thing that drives me absolutely wild when someone’s giving me oral sex… I love being told how good I taste. It’s flattering, sure, but it’s incredibly erotic to think that you can be so intoxicating to someone. This is one of the things I really hold as a facet of my “do unto others as you would have others do unto you” mentality… Cum is something I really enjoy. But it’s not just about cum, it’s also about precum and even just the taste of his skin along different parts of his body.

I have had nothing but incredibly favourable responses by expressing my genuine enjoyment of the way my partner tastes, but genuine is the key word here. It’s a journey for many people to really enjoy all the sensory aspects of sex. Of course it feels good, but some people are so impacted by the cultural stigma around sex that it’s harder to embrace and appreciate its more visceral applications. It’s intimate, and the human body is not know for having the most traditionally delicious flavour profile, but there is so much to be gained by immersing ourselves in sex and getting accustomed to (and ultimately growing to love) the sights, tastes, smells, sounds… It makes for a well-rounded sensual experience, which is such an important part of sex.

Like wine, whiskey, coffee and all the more mature flavours that become palatable and enjoyable in adulthood, the flavours of oral sex can be acquired. If you’re not quite there yet, you can start to train yourself with chocolate! Friend of The Art of Blowjob AV Flox has written a lovely piece on Slantist about treats shaped like vulvas, penises and anuses. It is the festive season, so these might make an excellent stocking stuffer or dessert at your holiday party! As a rimming enthusiast (I guess I just outed myself here!) those cute little bite-sized options from Edible Anus (actually!) look like the perfect gift for some of my sexy friends.

So, how about you? Do you like the flavours associated with giving oral sex? What are some of your favourite (or least favourite) aspects? And, perhaps most importantly, would you go down on any of those chocolates?